If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
