Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
