Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
