it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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