she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
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DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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