Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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