But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
