It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
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That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
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I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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