My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
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Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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