I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
