He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
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I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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