im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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