I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize