the new term for farting is butt boxing.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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