I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
home. puking in laundry basket.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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