The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
