hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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