That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
