Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
