i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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