i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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