Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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