where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
