I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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