You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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