apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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