I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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