dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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