look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
