OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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