toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
