I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
