my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Your cock deserves a montage
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
