Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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