I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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