remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
