I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
