You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize