I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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