im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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