Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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