You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
