he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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