got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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