Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
