i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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