how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
