Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
