at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
