If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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