i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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