sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
