i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
