12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Randomize
