I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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