My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
