Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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