That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
