and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
